Obama Is Officially The LEAST Scandalous President In History & America LOVES Him (DETAILS)

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As the 2016 election slogs on and on through the muck, there’s one more thing to thank Barack Obama for: Eight years blessedly free of lurid sex scandals. When you add on George W. Bush’s two terms — no matter how much you may loathe his policies, he’s clearly a devoted family man — we’ve had a full 15 sex scandal-free presidential years.

Until this year’s rather un-presidential election, we’ve had 15 years without hearing about any presidents, potential presidents, or potential first spouses and their pussy-grabbing, blue dress-staining, alleged raping, wife-pimping, womanizing behavior.

#ThanksObama.

No wonder Jenny Anderson’s post from Quartz heaps praise on “a president who offered America eight dignified years free of sex scandals.” After all, how do you explain to your precocious four-, seven-, or 10-year-old why the local news stations keep talking about the GOP presidential candidate grabbing women “by the pussy?”

‘Older parents will of course recall the pressure of conducting presidential-themed sex ed talks with their children during former US president Bill Clinton’s impeachment proceedings. His scandal required explanations for all measure of tawdry things, from blow jobs to the proper use of cigars to why Monica Lewinsky’s blue dress would be considered evidence if it was worn so long ago.’

The ick. It hurtttssss usssss. Anderson reminds us that “the Obama White House has been a paragon of decency for dinner-table talk for eight long years.” Not that today’s overworked parents and overscheduled kids have time for dinner table talk any more. But if we did, we’d mostly focus on “issues of substance.”

‘As president, Barack Obama has sparked debate over issues of substance: Is Obamacare the best direction for healthcare in the US? Why did he draw a red line with Syria and cross it? Why can’t the US government stop gun violence?’

But it’s not just about Barack Obama’s personal life. In marked contrast to Donald Trump, the president has always conducted himself with dignity, sensitivity, respect, and gravitas. We can pretty safely assume that no rape accusations or tapes with Obama talking smack about women will surface in the future. As Jenny Anderson concludes:

‘It all shows how seriously he has taken his role of orator in chief. He chooses his words carefully. And arguably he had to, knowing that as America’s first black president, he would be held to an impossibly high standard.’

But it’s not just the absence of personal scandals. Unlike his predecessor, George W. Bush, Barack Obama’s administration has also proven remarkably clean and scandal-free…Unless you count fake scandals made up out of whole cloth by the GOP. Last year, Jamelle Bouie wrote in Slate:

‘We are due for a major presidential scandal. At least, that’s been the pattern for three of the last four administrations.’

Jamelle Bouie goes on to remind us of how spoiled we’ve been. that the recent two-term presidents before Barack Obama were buried in slime of their own making in their final years in office.

‘By this point in 1987, President Reagan had fought through the Iran–Contra affair. By this point in 1999, President Clinton was coping with fallout from his impeachment. And by this point in 2007, President Bush was dealing with continued revelations into the torture at Abu Ghraib and the criminal investigation of a former aide, Scooter Libby (to say nothing of a failing economy and an unpopular war launched with bad intelligence in Iraq).’

For eight years, President Barack Obama and his family have remained squeaky clean, other than First Daughter Malia Obama appearing to smoke a joint at the Lollapalooza music festival.

Now it’s “Katie bar the door!” No matter who wins the White House, we’ll either be praying that Bill Clinton gets neutered or that Donald Trump’s mouth gets sewn shut. And we’re not sure if Obamacare covers either of those procedures.

Watch: Six Reasons why Barack Obama will be remembered as one of our best presidents.

Featured image: Public Domain 2011 by Pete Souza (via Wikipedia).