Republicans across America cackled with glee as the latest bogus “news” story about Hillary Clinton’s emails took the Internet by storm. After all, Fridays are slow news days and reporters gotta report. But, as Laurence Lewis from Daily Kos wants to remind everyone, “despite the horrendous reporting, the FBI is NOT reopening” their investigation of Hillary Clinton’s emails.
It all started Friday morning when FBI Director James Comey sent a letter to eight chairmen of eight committees in Congress.
FBI Director Comey, in letter to members of Congress, says FBI is investigating additional emails in Clinton private server case pic.twitter.com/Ue0qlhqT5w
— Bradd Jaffy (@BraddJaffy) October 28, 2016
The letter informed House committee heads that “in connection with an unrelated case” [italics ours], more emails were discovered that “appear to be pertinent” to the FBI’s closed investigation into Hillary Clinton’s emails. But, as CNN pointed out, the emails are “not related” to Wikileaks or the Clinton Foundation, the GOP’s favorite go-tos.
‘Law enforcement sources say the newly discovered emails are not related to WikiLeaks or the Clinton Foundation. They would not describe in further detail the content of the emails. A law enforcement official said the newly discovered emails were found on an electronic device that the FBI didn’t previously have in its possession. The emails are not from Clinton but from someone else, according to the official.’
Republicans and other Clinton haters had a field day as top Republicans called for a new look into Hillary Clinton’s emails.
— The Hill (@thehill) October 28, 2016
— POLITICO (@politico) October 28, 2016
Donald Trump triumphantly declared that he respects the FBI and the Dept. of Justice for having the “courage to right the horrible mistake that they made.”
Trump on Clinton emails: I respect that FBI and DOJ have “courage to right the horrible mistake that they made.” https://t.co/Vkl2QGeQX5
— MSNBC (@MSNBC) October 28, 2016
And even the mostly-respectable Chris Wallace couldn’t resist jumping on the Hillary Clinton’s emails bandwagon since he does work for Fox “News,” after all.
— Citizen Dale (@Trumptbird) October 28, 2016
…So the Hillary haters got to have their fun for a couple of hours.
Clinton loyalists will furiously try to spin the Comey letter, but there's no denying it: she is now being investigated for federal crimes
— Michael Tracey (@mtracey) October 28, 2016
They didn’t get to have their fun for long, though. This supposed new story about Hillary Clinton’s emails started falling apart within two hours. For starters, it may seem like a fine line, but there’s a difference between “assessing newly-found emails” and reopening an investigation.
Clarifying: Comey doesn’t say the FBI is reopening the Clinton investigation per se, rather that it’s assessing newly found emails.
— Shane Harris (@shaneharris) October 28, 2016
It turned out those emails weren’t even found on Hillary Clinton’s server, it was on a different “device.”
Once again…These are not Hillary Clinton’s emails and they are not on her server.
— New York Daily News (@NYDailyNews) October 28, 2016
Plus…We’re only talking about three emails.
1. Not from her server
2. Not from her
3. three emails?
4. What optics? https://t.co/wO7rcOIVvm
— Karoli (@Karoli) October 28, 2016
Those weren’t Hillary Clinton’s emails: They were Anthony Weiner’s.
And guess what? Here comes the hilarious kicker…By Friday afternoon, the news was out: The device the FBI found that contained three of Hillary Clinton’s emails? It belongs to Anthony Weiner.
— Talking Points Memo (@TPM) October 28, 2016
Yes…That Anthony Weiner. The soon-to-be former husband of top Hillary Clinton aide Huma Abedin who just can’t stop sexting.
Thousands of new emails found on Weiner's device 🤔⁉️
— Cliff Topham (@cliffordtopham) October 28, 2016
And just because the following tweet comes from a Clinton hater doesn’t mean it’s not hilarious.
Better be looking over your shoulder "Anthony Weiner" pic.twitter.com/qTBrsIT04k
So now the heat’s on FBI Director James Comey. What the hell was he thinking? Some Twitizens see him as a laughing stock.
For my next trick, I'll combine a vague letter from James Comey with a big dose of wishful thinking and… voila! A day long diversion!
— John Iadarola (@johniadarola) October 28, 2016
My official reaction to what James Comey did. pic.twitter.com/3rWNO2yjnm
— Mark Halperin (@MarkHalperin) October 28, 2016
Maybe this is a good thing, but James Comey has the political sense of a tack hammer.
— Charles P. Pierce (@CharlesPPierce) October 28, 2016
Others see more sinister motives in James Comey opening a new can of non-existent worms in the never-ending Hillary Clinton’s emails saga.
FRICK James Comey to play along with the GOP committee and re-open this investigation! There is NO there there! This is frickin' STUPID!
— Tyler L. (@NaughtyTyler) October 28, 2016
— Mourning For America (@SFL4Hillary) October 28, 2016
Meanwhile, the alt-right Trump fan girls at Breitbart came up with a novel spin on James Comey’s bizarre letter: Donald Trump’s #WINNING! and Comey wants to keep his job.
Does Comey suspect a Trump win? https://t.co/Sc8th5Z9L8
— Breitbart News (@BreitbartNews) October 28, 2016
Good luck with that.
Featured image: Justin Sullivan via Getty Images.