Armed Oregon Militants Issue Hilarious Code Red For Snacks, Internet Responds (TWEETS)


Proving once and for all that the right-wing, anti-government militants currently mounting an armed occupation of the Malheur Wildlife Refuge, some 30 miles southeast of Burns, Oregon, have got to be high, a tweet by one militia member is currently making its rounds as the latest laughing stock on the internet for pandering for snacks.

That’s right, before these boys were breaking a sweat crying in their pickups, armed to the teeth and vowing murder while dreaming of conservative martyrdom, they forgot to plan the pantry for what they intend to be a prolonged occupation. When you’re guarding the tyranny of your government’s bird sanctuary, chest puffed like Duke Nukem, the tendency is to want to snap into a Slim Jim.

Hardcore armed militants were joined, Saturday, by the Bundy family, notorious for the armed Cliven Bundy standoff last year, in Nevada. Together the groups nabbed the Refuge, allegedly standing against “government tyranny,” and in solidarity for the land being returned to local ranchers. Never mind the obvious oversight that these white, anti-government Americans are calling for the government to “give the land back” to ranchers when the entire country was stolen from our Indigenous brothers and sisters in the first place. That’s how you know self-interest is what really motivates these “freedom fighters,” not true and real restorative justice.

That seems pretty obvious to many, though, luckily.

John Hulsey tweeted, “#YallQaeda waging #YeeHawd on America and we’re still calling it a ‘peaceful protest.’ It’s domestic terrorism and we need to shut it down.”

Furthermore, if Twitter is any indication of the level of seriousness these fed-up-and-not-going-to-take-it-anymore gun nuts are being given, they are in for an uphill battle for the hearts and minds of America.

These militants are a laughing stock:

Ridiculous as these right-wing domestic terrorists may be, they are still quite dangerous, and clearly delusional. While these fellas are nothing but a bunch of self-serving hawks, they seem to have nothing but eagles in their eyes. Be sure to send them tissues, a mirror, and maybe a book on Wounded Knee, or the Trail of Tears.