The armed militants who have taken over the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge for a week now have issued yet another request for goodies to be sent to them from their supporters, most of whom are dead broke anyway.
On Saturday, an email was sent from the Bundy family asking supporters to send supplies, including tampons, hay, razors, ice chests (which they could just use the outdoors for since it’s dipped into the single digits at night there), french vanilla creamer (only the best for them), underwear and something called Chew Copenhagen, which sounds like chawin’ tabbacy. What do I know, I’m not a wannabe patriot. Don’t judge me.
A friend of mine sent me the emailed list of items the Bundy militia has found itself in need of.
Wait, there’s more! Don’t forget the soap, and don’t drop it while you’re there either.
The email also adds, “Financial donations can be sent to…” and we’re not going to link you to that, just because.
Geezus, these guys can’t even remember to bring underwear and soap to their freedom takeover in which they say they’re prepared to stay for years. It’s only been one week.
Jon Ritzheimer, who has been organizing anti-Muslim rallies from his Arizona home, explains that he gets by on his veterans’ disability pay, and that he’s “lucky to have a wife who works.” He’s also an absentee father, one who was seen in a cry baby ‘goodbye’ video which he uploaded on YouTube.
Recently, the group of badass ‘patriots’ sent out an alert for snacks. We’re not sure what kind of person forgets to bring snacks, but they were widely mocked for this request on social media.
Hashtags have been created on Twitter ever since, such as #YallQaeda, #YeeHawd, #VanillaISIS, etc.
As for the request for body wash, we can certainly understand why they’d need that after all of this time up in them thar hills. We just don’t know why these rugged men or their first cousin-wives didn’t come prepared. There might be a low IQ factor in there though.
Come on badass patriots, just give up the cigarettes and drink your coffee black.
How are these patriots supposed to fight tyranny without French Vanilla creamer?