The epitome of white privilege, presidential candidate Donald Trump, is quaking in his Christian shoes. He’s feeling the persecution America has got him and his fellow, humble Christians living under, what with Satan’s hoof so firmly stamped on the neck of every God-fearing, red-blooded American out there. It’s tough out there for Christians right now, isn’t it? – especially in the Midwest and Bible belt. “Christianity is under siege,” Trump says. That must be why he said he’d have caught less flak for calling for a ban on Christians, rather than Muslims, while speaking at Dordt College, in Sioux Center, Iowa, Saturday: He’s sad, persecuted, and scared.
Referring to his infamous “ban Muslims” statement, Trump told his admirers at the Christian liberal arts college, “If I said that about Christians, and if I said ‘banned,’ I’m telling you I would have had less difficulty, and that’s pretty sad, because we’re Christians. I’m Protestant. I’m Presbyterian.”
Of course, everyone knows Trump is really just sucking up to the religious right for the sake of winning the Republican presidential nomination. After mucking up a response recently where he admitted he doesn’t care to ask for God’s forgiveness, many have rightly been skeptical of the Donald’s spiritual sincerity. That’s why Trump sucked it up and took his gold-plated butt to church, only to find himself listening in on a pro-immigrant sermon. What could God have been trying to tell Trump?
And it was great! The best! Probably the most spectacular sermon ever delivered, right? Trump’s gotten excellent pastors – world-class. You’ve never heard pastors so good. They have a direct line to God and Trump’s on speed dial.
“I’m a true believer,” Trump spoon-fed his snake-oil to the audience, “And you’re many true believers – I hope all – is everybody a true believer in this room? I think so. But Christianity is under tremendous siege.”
Trump went on to complain that Christians allegedly don’t wield enough power in this Holly Hobby Lobby nation.
“The power of our group of people together, I mean, if you add it up… it could be 240, 250 million, and yet we don’t exert the power that we should have. Now, I think some of the churches are afraid of their tax status, to be honest,” he quipped, adding, “But you know the fact is that there is nothing the politicians can do to you if you band together. You have too much power. But the Christians don’t use their power. We have to strengthen, because we are getting – if you look, it’s death by a million cuts – we are getting less and less and less powerful in terms of a religion, and in terms of a force.”
Trump went on to say, “And by the way, Christianity will have power, without having to form, because if I’m there, you’re going to have plenty of power. You don’t need anybody else. You’re going to have somebody representing you very, very well. Remember that.”
Listen to Trump – he’ll be the Cadillac of presidents, and he’s got Jesus at the wheel.
You have to hand it to Donald Trump. Maybe it’s that showbiz in him, but he knows his audience, and he knows how to play his audience.
But if Trump won’t even listen to God’s criticisms – the God he claims to embrace so richly – how the hell do his supporters pretend he’ll ever listen to them?
Featured image via Gage Skidmore via Flickr.