Laughter is the only way to deal with death. In the case of the Bungling Bundy occupation, when you see what easy snack choices they ordered in, you will at least smile. Guaranteed.
1. A bag of D**ks sounds far better than it tastes. It’s a cross between Soylent Green (if you don’t know what that is, check out the movie!) and chewing tobacco. But when you’re starving, it’s filling for a while.
2. Y’all Qaeda & Chili is an interesting muncher. How did they ever accomplish it? These treats look like a Twinkie, but the filling is turkey-chili. The Bundy boys love them!
3. The Bundy Gang took over a bird sanctuary, but little did they know there would be live birds all over the place. Bird Sanctuary Pops are delightful little snacks, that are a cross between buffalo wings and Tootsie Pops. They come from one of old Grandma Bundy’s recipes. Once the birds’ geese were cooked, the men started eying the little frozen butterflies.
4. Cartman! Who knew he stowed away with the Bundy brothers? And yes, he did bring along two month’s worth of Chicken Pot Pies. You would think these big, tough men could take away a kid’s pot pie and play catch with the frozen things over Cartman’s head. But no, the little guy had them all cowering in their boots! Literally.
5. The little-known Couch Dogs are a delightful mix of Kibbles and mystery meat chunks, served in a lovely pop-open pouch. This easy snack is perfect, because you can eat them on the couch and share them with your best friend.
6. GTFOO Angry Birds are a lot like gummy snakes, but they’re shaped like angry birds and peck you when you eat them. Only for the truly dedicated.
7. Darth Vader’s Daddy’s Own are what he carries around in that voluminous cape. If you can get them away from him, and most cannot, you will find a striking combination of freeze-dried coffee grounds, poison berries, and yak cheese all coated with yogurt.
8. Then there are the Real Bundy Snacks designed and totally consumed by the penultimate couch potato, Al Bundy. We aren’t sure what they are exactly, except that we know they cause you to gain weight and lose your hair. Al isn’t sharing them.
9. Dining-In Chips & Dip is THE snack for the outdoorsman occupier, because it contains all of the food groups: sweet pickles, melted almost-cheese, and authentic cow chips.
10. The Office Bottom Drawer Combo is a delicious combination of old cookie crumbs, smashed M&M’s, a squished birthday candle, a dead aspirin and something that looks disturbingly like antique white-out. Once you remove the candle wick, you can use it to floss!
11. Blues Brothers are so cool they are sending Blues Brother’s Blue Things to the Bundy bunch. There is blue ice-cream that never melts, blue toadstools, and Windex. You may not get full, but you’ll get a great chemical high.
12. Last but not least, there are the Donner Party Snacks. The Donners left as soon as they realized the Bundy Gang was in trouble. It may take a while, and they will eat your easy snack pack and each other, but when they get there, you learn about the new white meat.
Donner Party Chips. Image from ifyouonlynews.com
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