Valentine’s Day is one of those days that can go really well or terribly wrong. Usually, the tight wire dance is between the two involved parties and their unvoiced expectations. But those who satellite around our relationship can also crash into our special day.
The flowers can get sent to the wrong person, an old girlfriend can decided to phone during dinner, or Mom can have an“emergency” that demands the presence of one of us. Not cool.
The restaurant can screw things up in a major way. It wasn’t the food that ruined Ellie Parker’s and Lucy Stenger’s meal. It was the chef, who insisted in inserting himself into the couple’s first Valentine’s Day dinner. His homophobic comments to this same-sex couple dining at his restaurant ruined what could have been one of those beautiful life markers.
Instead, Parker wrote this Valentine’s note her Facebook page:
‘I’m not normally one to complain on social media, but the service I had at dinner tonight warrants a little complaining. I took my girlfriend out to Asahi for our first Valentine’s Day together.’
‘Our chef came to grill our food for us and was asking everyone if the person with them was their boyfriend or husband. He got to my girlfriend and I and asked where our valentines were. We told him we were each other’s valentines. We were holding hands mind you. Clearly a couple.’
Going out with one or more of your women friends on any day can be ruined when a totally unaware guy doesn’t accept a gracious, “no thanks.” For some reason, he can’t imagine that you aren’t bowled over by his presence and attention, that you prefer a woman’s company, gay or straight, to his.
The chef where they ate was abundantly rude to the couple. Parker’s note continued:
‘He proceeds to say “well it is legal, but it’s such a waste to not have a man.” Later he continues to insult our relationship by saying he could come home with us to “heat things up.” I am appalled that I would receive this kind of treatment. I cannot believe I paid over $50 to have my relationship insulted and sexualized.’
Parker and Stenger decided to leave the chef a very special tip, one that I hope he actually takes to heart, but I seriously doubt that he will. The women wrote on their dinner receipt:
‘Don’t tell lesbians they need a man on Valentine’s Day.’
There is nothing subtle about the misogyny lesbians may face daily. These are the men who have no respect for women, otherwise they would not try to insert themselves into the women’s lives. Beneath this broad unbrella are the different types of misogynists.
There is the man who believes that a woman is incomplete until a man gifts her with his penis. Then, there is the man who fantasizes that not only one woman couldn’t resist him, but two women should find their way into his bed. The third type is the man who believes that a lesbian is a woman he could turn at least bisexual, if not totally heterosexual, if only she would have sex with him.
The restaurant agreed to refund their money at first. Parker responded in her Facebook comments:
‘Thank you all for the support! The restaurant did refund or money, but nothing can make up for the way we were treated. I hope sharing this helps others avoid this situation in the future.’
One of her Facebook friends said in her comments section:
‘How dare anyone be disrespected … But to happen to my sweet Lucy and her girl angers me and breaks my heart at the same time. I am truly sorry!!’
One of the two women’s mothers left this update:
‘UPDATE: The restaurant would only refund her money if she removes her post. I’m proud that my daughter knows that no amount of money is worth compromising her values or hiding the truth!!’
When “Mic” contacted the Asahi Japanese Steakhouse in Lafayette, Indiana, where Parker’s Facebook says she is from, their spokesperson:
‘…Told “Mic” that they had “no idea” what Parker’s post was referring to before hanging up.’
Featured Image: Ellie Parker via Facebook.