Cruz To Trump, ‘You Can Do It, Breathe…’


Donald Trump talked down to Marco Rubio, and acid dripped off of his tongue. Ted Cruz talked down to Trump, and acid dripped off of his tongue, too. Oh, what a glorious, but troubling, sight it was during the last GOP debate in bizarre land. Some people think it was funny, others believe it was a blood sport, but it seems, a good time was had during the debate yoga routine.

Then, leave it to two of the primary participants to try to make a buck off of their misadventure. The other one is self-financing his campaign.

In this 11th Republican debate, Cruz took the role of disciplining parent with the man-child Trump. It felt as natural as a flat tire. As Trump tried to take the Texas senator out, Cruz beseeched the billionaire to shish down:

‘Donald, please, I know it’s hard not to interrupt. Breathe, breathe, breathe. You can do it, breathe, I know it’s hard, I know it’s hard.’

Certainly, Cruz measured out each word for the greatest impact per square inch, so any double meanings were intentional. No wonder the Texas senator’s daughters try to avoid him, when he reaches down to grab them for a kiss. Cruz’s parenting techniques are truly horrid.

Then, the candidate backed by the GOP establishment, Rubio, jumped into the action:

‘When they’re done with the yoga, can I answer a question?’

That set up Cruz’s next line:

‘I really hope that we don’t see yoga on this stage.’

Rubio caught the ball and bounced it back:

‘Well, (Trump’s) very flexible, so you never know.’

So, lo and behold, what do our wandering eyes spy but a yoga mat on Cruz’s campaign web store. His campaign manager Jeff Roe tweeted:

‘After the debate last night we decided to offer these on our online store today … Enjoy!’

Republican minds must think alike, because on one of Rubio’s campaign Twitter accounts, @TeamMarco, marketed red yoga pants with the #DumpTrump hashtag adorning them.

But, as soon as the yoga pants arrived, they disappeared. The campaign deleted the pants and removed them from its website. But why?

It seems that #DumpTrump yoga pants don’t really exist, except in some Republican’s mind. The explanation read:

‘Note: you won’t actually get #DumpTrump yoga pants, but your $10 donation will help Marco stop him.’’

Ah, so people weren’t crazy about the idea of paying 10 bucks for a weak laugh, after all. Go figure.

Check out the Cruz-Rubio comedy duo:

Featured Image: Mike Licht via Flickr, Creative Commons License, some modification.

H/T: CNN, Fox News