Ann Coulter looks as if she could slit Rob Lowe open like an autopsy during a roast. But on Labor Day, the conservative radio host took the award for the worst roast — ever! She bombed big time on Comedy Central, as the audience heckled and booed her.
Granted, she is no comedian. That should have given her the edge of low roast expectations. Then, she could rise like a phoenix from the ashes or fall into them, catch fire, and barbecue herself.
‘Let’s get to the reason I’m here tonight, which is to give Justin Bieber some tips to use when he inevitably ends up in prison.’
Stewart knows about prison, because she did time for lying to the feds. She told the audience how to convert a “pintail comb and a pack of gum into a shank.”
Then there are the failures. Take Mike Sorrentio of Jersey Shore. He tried to roast Donald Trump. The roast cut several jokes from the broadcast including one about Donald Trump, who was in the audience, and musician Snoop Dogg. He said they had lots in common, because:
‘Trump’s family is in real estate and Snoop Dogg’s ancestors were “considered property.”’
One joke that made it past the cut was about Trump’s wife Melania, also in the audience. Sorrentio said:
‘She married you for love. Yeah, she loves money.’
The crowd booed him, and he shot back:
‘This is my first time doing comedy.’
Roastmaster general Jeff Ross responded:
‘And your last!’
The Roast of Rob Lowe had a roast’s usual combination of comedians and non-comedians. Ross, Pete Davidson of Saturday Night Live (SNL), and TV and film’s David Spade were among the funny guys. The non-professionals included NFL quarterback and insurance hack Peyton Manning and singer Jewel, who did a great Coulter joke.
‘I do want to say as a feminist that I can’t support everything that’s been said tonight. But as someone who hates Ann Coulter, I’m delighted.’
Coulter, the queen of the conservatives, was the butt of quite a few jokes. Comedian Nikki Glaser did a Hitler comparison. Davidson called her a “racist c***.” Manning said she was like a horse. Pretty ugly. But how ugly were Coulter’s jokes?
As she sat in the audience glaring, Ross said this about her:
‘She wrote 11 books, but she couldn’t write one f*k**g joke for this roast.’
Then, he used the next commercial break to urge her to laugh along, because not doing so just made it far worse.
‘She seems stiff and conservative, but Ann gets wild in the sheets. Just ask the Klan.’
When Spade introduced Coulter, he quipped:
‘I haven’t seen you laugh this hard since Travon Martin got shot.’
The special attention directed at her did not go unnoticed by Coulter, whose first line was probably her best.
‘I want to welcome everybody to the Ann Coulter Roast with Rob Lowe.’
The crowd booed her when she hyped her new adoration-of-Trump book. Then she gave another groaner, saying David was the only “spade” who could vote for Trump. When Coulter tried out her Hillary Clinton jokes, she bombed, too. After she finished, she got a standing ovation from Lowe. The rest of the group remained seated.
Afterward, Coulter told The Hollywood Reporter she didn’t know why Comedy Central had invited her. She thought the event was to primarily to promote her book, In Trump We Trust.
Comedy Central president Kent Alterman mused that maybe she should have stayed away. Good idea.
Check out part of the roast: