In the bizarre alternate universe we exist in now that Donald Trump is president, what would have previously been explosive is now almost mundane. Not only is Trump under investigation for colluding with a hostile foreign power, he’s also under the hammer for his entanglements with porn star Stormy Daniels.
The Russia investigation is headed up by Special Prosecutor Robert Mueller, a veteran of explosive cases like the prosecution of Enron executives. Like Mueller, the lead lawyer for Stormy Daniels is proving to be incredibly tough and deliberate.
Here he is battling it out with Trump’s lawyer’s lawyer, David Schwartz:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1uHBQswwdxM
Who is David Schwartz? According to POLITICO, he’s just a little obsessed with Donald Trump:
‘David Schwartz sent an email Thursday detailing his firm’s “storied relationship” with Trump, whom he has represented since 2010. “It has been the thrill of a lifetime to work for this man whom I have grown to respect and admire over the years, and I believe he deserves a chance to succeed as our President,” Schwartz wrote, noting that he and his partners started the website “Should Trump Run” ahead of the 2012 election, setting the stage for his 2016 presidential bid.’
Schwartz’ grift is paying off, to the tune of $500,000 in lobbying profits in 2017 alone.
Despite his experience with Trump, Schwartz is outmatched by his opponent, Stormy Daniels’ lawyer Michael Avenatti. Perhaps its the fact that Schwartz’ legal career has been lobbying and promoting politicians, while Avenatti’s has actually been in high-stakes litigation.
Avenatti is not messing around. Today, he tweeted:
Can someone please ask Michael Cohen to call down to central casting again and order up a new hack to speak on his behalf? I’m bored with batting around David Schwartz. #neednewchallenge #basta
— Michael Avenatti (@MichaelAvenatti) March 28, 2018
The rest of Twitter jumped in almost immediately:
All the other Cohen thugs are tied up working out plea deals with Mueller
— Roland Scahill (@rolandscahill) March 28, 2018
It’s so laughable how scared @realDonaldTrump is of @StormyDaniels. Like, @foxandfriends is scared to report on the weather now out of fear they’d have to read the squall line currently moving through TX as stormy weather.
— Tiff’s Tweets (@tiffanyclay) March 28, 2018
Michael you're the one person who can get DJT to keep quiet. And you that you have the thanks of a Nation #keepitup
— Kathleen O'Donnell (@ODonnellKathlee) March 28, 2018
Your confidence and sarky attitude GIVES ME LIFE. ? Love watching you defend. Keep it up!
— Rachel Nesbitt (@horwitzpolitics) March 28, 2018
@MichaelAvenatti IS. NOT. PLAYING. AROUND. Amateur hour is over!! Good for you sir!!
— Tammie ? (@tlccourville) March 28, 2018
But it's FUN to watch you bat him around! Like a cat with a spider. Unfairly matched, but still compelling. ? Heh. Go get 'em! My best to you and @StormyDaniels.
— Dragonheart ❤ "I choose to Love fearlessly!" (@HaikuDiva) March 28, 2018
You are our new Super Hero. Your character should be in DC Comics and Marvel Comics. Fighting the evil characters. I have never seen an attorney with that much energy and tenasity. Keep it up we are here for the long ride.
— Dawit Solomon – ዳዊት ሰለሞን (@dawsol) March 28, 2018
https://twitter.com/andicocoa/status/978961295985823744
You batter him about like its playtime, not your job. It's hilarious.
— Rachel Nesbitt (@horwitzpolitics) March 28, 2018
Schwartz thinks he wins every interaction because he yells louder.
— Kevin Pardee (@kevybear) March 28, 2018
Avenatti knows how to play this game. I'd be worried if I was Trump and Cohen.
— Individual 1 (@1984Mikae) March 28, 2018
It’s really telling and laughable that Cohen can’t speak for himself.#Coward
— KalliJo (@kallijo68) March 28, 2018
This is some grade A professional trolling of an infamous troll, I love it. #basta
— Cat V (@catvlawyr) March 28, 2018
I look forward to your daily tweets & show appearances. You had me at thy Huge picture of @MichaelCohen212 on @Cnn pic.twitter.com/l3sMQUf7NQ
— Just Ann American (@masg66) March 28, 2018
Trump's organization is Mafia Period and the people of America has been had.
— D J Richard (@deljrich) March 28, 2018
https://twitter.com/ioumail/status/978965606287360001
Sassy! ?
— Patti Lou (@50inaug) March 28, 2018
https://twitter.com/MoniqueMellon/status/978987395688402944
Now you have a preview of who represents Cohn , pfffft he kept saying "Ok YOU owe me another MILLION right there !" the veins started showing in your temples! Seriously You Got This ! For Sure ! ?
— SenGems #25thAmendment (@SensualGemss) March 28, 2018
And deprive us of the only humour this sideshow provides? That’s not very nice – sarcasm.
— Nat (@nataliearbour) March 28, 2018
They are pretty much all the same. Trump surrounds himself with men he thinks are just like him. He thinks he is smart, tough, and good looking lol
— Cat Escalera (@EscaleraCat) March 28, 2018
Featured image: Screen capture via Youtube