In a Titan clash of progressives versus the uber-conservatives, we have in this corner the ever-popular Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY). In the other corner, we have the gun-toting conservatives’ sweetheart Representative Lauren Boebert (R-CO). The referee comes to the ring and asks the two women if any of them are carrying. AOC readily admits that she is carrying her compassion, but that passes muster. Then, the referee turns to Boebert and sees the outline of a Heckler & Koch G3 with a collapsible stock under her Annie Oakley tee-shirt.
He asks if he is going to have to frisk her. Boebert shakes her head and pulls it out. Then, the referee puts out his hand. The Republican hands over a Hechler & Koch 9mm. The referee puts out his other hand, and she sighs. This time she hands over a flashbang grenade.
A hush falls over the audience as the two women size the other up. Alexandria Ocasio Cortez (AOC) wins the coin toss and goes first:
‘Thank you for proving to the world that today’s version of “conservative role model” is a person who mocks other people’s ill grandparents on the internet. I can promise you I will treat your family better than you do mine. And I’ll fight for your constituents more, too.’
Then, it is Boebert’s turn. She tells AOC that she is limiting “the American dream:”
‘Oh please, Sandy. Ask Abuela how that government reliance is going. Nobody is taking safety nets away. Growing up in a Democrat household, I stood in line for bread and government cheese. I want more for your grandma, just as I did for me. Don’t limit the American dream.’
AOC comes back with a powerful kick to the stomach over who “gets a meal ticket” in Boebert world:
”Tell ‘em loud and proud girl! GOP will strip your unemployment protections and dismantle any semblance of a public safety net we have left! Then make working people pay way more for everything on low wages while Wall St gets a meal ticket!
‘Good ol conservative values baby!’
‘Tell ‘em loud and proud girl! GOP will strip your unemployment protections and dismantle any semblance of a public safety net we have left! Then make working people pay way more for everything on low wages while Wall St gets a meal ticket!’
Good ol conservative values baby! 🤑 https://t.co/inym5QkuBC
— Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (@AOC) July 11, 2021
In a struggle to keep her head about the swamp water, Boebert gasped:
‘We don’t want your welfare…’
Boebert: We’re here to tell government we don’t want your benefits. We don’t want your welfare… pic.twitter.com/Gk8WenGrls
— Acyn (@Acyn) July 10, 2021
AOC stands, her hand held high with the referees’ hand as she looks down at the swamp that swallowed Boebert, and said:
‘Or that of our life preservers either, I guess.’
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