Trump Responds To Ambush Of 9 Americans In Mexico Like A Dummy

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911

Donald Trump and Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) hopped on Air Force One and took a lovely trip to Kentucky. Why McConnell went is up for question. He is not at all popular in his state, but POTUS is. Then again, everyone has their own crew, and Trump is definitely a kiss-and-tell kind of guy. Here’s what he said this morning.

The two men had a wonderful time along with Republican candidate Matt Bevin. The president said a “fantastic” time was had by all:

FANTASTIC BEING IN THE GREAT STATE OF KENTUCKY LAST NIGHT. VOTE FOR MATT BEVIN NOW! @MATTBEVIN ONE OF BEST GOVERNORS IN U.S. HE WILL NEVER LET YOU DOWN!’

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Then, the great complainer claimed the impeachment was a “hoax:”

“THE IMPEACHMENT HOAX HAS FIRED UP VOTERS IN KENTUCKY, MISSISSIPPI AND LOUISIANA.”

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Trump jumped to a shooting in Utah between drug cartels:

‘A WONDERFUL FAMILY AND FRIENDS FROM UTAH GOT CAUGHT BETWEEN TWO VICIOUS DRUG CARTELS, WHO WERE SHOOTING AT EACH OTHER, WITH THE RESULT BEING MANY GREAT AMERICAN PEOPLE KILLED, INCLUDING YOUNG CHILDREN, AND SOME MISSING. IF MEXICO NEEDS OR REQUESTS HELP IN CLEANING OUT THESE….”

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Trump has always seen monsters under his bed, so it was no surprise he claimed there were monsters in Utah and Mexico. Now, he wants to take “an army to defeat an army:”

‘….MONSTERS, THE UNITED STATES STANDS READY, WILLING & ABLE TO GET INVOLVED AND DO THE JOB QUICKLY AND EFFECTIVELY. THE GREAT NEW PRESIDENT OF MEXICO HAS MADE THIS A BIG ISSUE, BUT THE CARTELS HAVE BECOME SO LARGE AND POWERFUL THAT YOU SOMETIMES NEED AN ARMY TO DEFEAT AN ARMY!’

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Trump wanted Mexico’s new president to join his crew to get the drug cartels and “wipe them off the face of the earth.” Apparently, POTUS only dislikes drug gangs of color, because he and another one of his crew members have been hanging out with Russian mobs. They even have a place in Trump Tower:

‘THIS IS THE TIME FOR MEXICO, WITH THE HELP OF THE UNITED STATES, TO WAGE WAR ON THE DRUG CARTELS AND WIPE THEM OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH. WE MERELY AWAIT A CALL FROM YOUR GREAT NEW PRESIDENT!’

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After taking his crew headquarters to Florida permanently, Trump could not wait to bash hiis previous state, New York as “rapidly declining:”

‘SO SAD TO SEE WHAT IS HAPPENING IN NEW YORK WHERE GOVERNOR CUOMO AND MAYOR DEBLASIO ARE LETTING OUT 900 CRIMINALS, SOME HARDENED AND BAD, ONTO THE SIDEWALKS OF OUR RAPIDLY DECLINING, BECAUSE OF THEM, CITY. THE RADICAL LEFT DEMS ARE KILLING OUR CITIES. NYPD CHIEF IS RESIGNING!’

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Trump will only win in 2020 if the Democrats stay home:

‘FIND YOUR POLLING LOCATION HERE!’

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Twitter world went crazy. Take a look at these favorites below:

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The Mueller Report Adventures: In Bite-Sizes on this Facebook page. These quick, two-minute reads interpret the report in normal English for busy people. Mueller Bite-Sizes uncovers what is essentially a compelling spy mystery. Interestingly enough, Mueller Bite-Sizes can be read in any order.